My Story

Everyone has an infertility story, whether it is their own, their sister's, friend's, neighbor - everyone knows someone going through, or who has gone through this.  However, each story is totally different.  Here is mine....

I don't blog about this very much, well actually only once have I directly acknowledged it (which oddly enough was almost exactly 2 years ago to the day), other than that its little comments here and there.  And I'm not good with talking about thoughts and feelings, I feel like I am an open person, but at the same time I am not one to get very emotional and pour my heart out to someone.  I am really good at keeping things in. :)   I don't want to be sappy, or cheesy, or dramatic and I don't want people feeling sorry for me, and I also hate attention - so I guess those are all reasons why I have wanted my blog to be mainly pictures of the fun things going on in my life.  But this blog really is the only photo album/journal that I have, and {one day} I want to make my blog into books, so I want to look back and remember the life that I was living behind all of the fun pictures, trips and events. 

I won't bore you with every little detail - well maybe I will, for my journaling sake. :) 

So here is the "summary" of our story.....We started "trying" in December 2009. My cycles have always been really long and random so after a few months of trying I went to see my OB (Dr. Terry) to see how I could get regulated.  After some tests, he told me that I had PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome - basically I have a hormonal imbalance that affects my cycles, how many eggs I have and how big they get, issues with ovulation, etc). So I went on Clomid for a few months and did two IUI's (Artificial Inseminations) with him and nothing was working.  We thought our issues were with me because of my PCOS but we decided that we should have Alan tested  too - so we did and things weren't looking so good.  We met with a Urologist and they told him that he had a varicocele (vein blockage) that was making his counts and everything low. So in October 2010 he had surgery to remove those veins. In November 2010, a month after his surgery, we decided to meet with a fertility specialist since we knew that me and Alan both had issues, so we met with Dr. Blauer at the Reproductive Care Center in Sandy.  I left that meeting so overwhelmed and in tears because he was talking about all these tests, medicine, cost, etc. and I was just mad that I even had to deal with all of this and that I couldn't get pregnant on my own like everyone else. Then that month I happened to somehow get pregnant on no meds, no nothing! We were shocked! Told our families around New Years and all was well.  But then I went in to my 1st appointment in January 2011 they couldn't find a heart beat. They had me come in every other day because they thought that I could have just been too early. But no heart beat ever came. They saw the fetus and my levels indicated pregnancy, but the baby wasn't growing. I miscarried at 9 weeks, but the fetus only grew to 6.5 weeks. Truly, hands down, the most awful day of my entire life.  Almost out of a horror movie.  Those of you who have miscarried know what I mean.  

So I miscarried in January 2011 and took a few months for my body to get normal again and in April 2011 we met with a different specialist at the U of U, Dr. Peterson to figure things out. We liked him enough and he meets with patients in Daybreak and at the U so the locations were good for us, and we had heard great things about him.  But after a few months of being with them we quickly realized that we weren't getting the attention from him that that we wanted and needed. We thought that the U of U staff and doctors were so impersonal and they were having me take steps back! It was so frustrating. So we decided to go back to Dr. Blauer and try him out because he seemed a lot more proactive. We were having a hard time because how did I somehow, magically get pregnant on no meds, but now I can't get pregnant again?!  So we did two IUI's with them but these were much more evasive then the ones with Dr. Terry.  I went on stronger drugs and did a few shots which helped my eggs grow.  Dr. Blauer has been has been SO great to work with. I can't tell you how happy we are with the RCC (Reproductive Care Center). The staff is amazing, they all know your name, they call you back within the hour and email you back with minutes I swear! Plus they are super proactive which is what we needed. 

The IUI's were not working so in the mean time we had Alan do a special test, called the Kruger Analysis, where they test the morphology (the shape and ability to fertilize an egg).  Those results did not come back good, Alan had a 4 out of 15 which put us in the IVF category. They gave Al some vitamins to possibly help and we got him tested again 90 days later and his score jumped to an 8! We were pretty excited and did one more IUI but it didn't work.  That IUI was last April, 2012 and after that I was so over it! I needed a break. So we took the rest of the year off from the fertility meds and appointments which was a MUCH needed break!  

So in December 2012 I finally felt good about jumping in and going for Invitro Fertilization (IVF) with ICSI (where they literally fertilize the egg for you, since that is the issue that Alan has). We met with our doctor, figured out a plan, wrote the check (eeek!) and were set to start the process in January.  The first step in the IVF process is to go on birth control (counterproductive?!).  I was so nervous for that part because when I went on them when I got married I was soo sick, I was scared it was going to happen again.  And yep - it did. I couldn't stop throwing up. So my nurse said to go off it and we will do IVF when my cycle starts on it's own.  So I patiently waited a good 30 days, no period of course - I have never had a 30 day cycle in my life! So they put me on progesterone pills to get it going.  I started on Monday, Feb. 18th, went in to the doctor and the story my will continue from there.....!